all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize