That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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