Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
