Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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