we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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