Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I am full of burrito and curiosity
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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