their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
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In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
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What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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