you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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