she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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