Ambien. No doubt about it.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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