Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My liver is preforming stress tests.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
