M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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