Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
