your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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