I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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