Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
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It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
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do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize