Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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