And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
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