I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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