Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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