nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
