I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i came on her dog
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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