I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I think my moral compass just broke
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
