That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
