just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
