i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
