i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
