Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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