Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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