I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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