Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
