How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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