My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
