remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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