we're blogging at a bar
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
