So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
