did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
