Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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