Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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