I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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