glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
