Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Randomize
