I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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