My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
why do cheetos always look like penises
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
