he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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