last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
