my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
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He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
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Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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