Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
It's just like the Real World with babies
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.