I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
