So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Randomize
