i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
