just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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