wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
