For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
